|
|
Return Hell
We check out of our room in Varadero Cuba at about noon on
Sunday, after spending a fabulous week in the sun with some friends, get into
our traveling clothes, and continue to hang out sampling the wonderful ambiance
of the resort, not to mention the delicious rum drinks. We’re picked up at our
hotel at about 6:30 Sunday evening. We go to the airport, a short trip of about
15 or 20 minutes. We get there just in time as it’s starting to rain. We line
up to check our bags in, which takes about an hour. Then we go through
security, which takes another hour. Finally we get to the departure lounge. I
buy a few cans of Cristal beer, and wait. The flight is supposed to leave at
10:30 p.m. The schedule on the monitors shows it to be on time. 10:30 comes
& goes, 11:00 comes & goes, as does 11:30 and 12:00 midnight. Shortly
after 12 we are told that we have to get our luggage and get on a bus, which
will take us to a hotel, the flight is leaving at 11:30 tomorrow morning. Lucky
us, our luggage had been left on the tarmac in the rain for several hours while
they tried to figure the aircraft out and everything we own is soaking wet. We
spend 45 minutes on the bus traveling to a hotel on the Varadero strip, which
incidentally is as far away from the airport as you can possibly get and still
be on the strip. We are told that the aircraft has a flat tire that they are
having some difficulty replacing. Once at the hotel, we line up for another
hour to get checked in. We get to our room at 4 a.m. The bus is supposed to
pick us up at 10 a.m. Do you think you can sleep? No way, you’re waking up
every 15 minutes or so to check the time; after all, you HAVE to make that bus!
At 9:00 we get up & head to the lobby. 5 busses come to
pick 195 or so of us up. Another 45 minutes to the airport, another hour to
check our bags in, another hour to go through security. It is already past the
time that the flight is supposed to leave. At about 1:00 p.m. we are told that
the aircraft is still unserviceable. It seems that when the tire blew on landing,
some rubber from it was sucked into the engine. We are going to have to get our
luggage and go back to a hotel. Our flight is now scheduled to leave at 11:45
tonight! OK, I have to make some phone calls. No cellular service, perfect. I
go to the service desk & ask if the telephones will accept my credit card,
I have to make some international calls. No, I am told, you have to buy a phone
card. OK, no problem, where can I get one? Well, the lady that sells them isn’t
here today I am informed. Perfect. We wait for ½ an hour or so to get our
luggage (after going through security again), then as we board the busses are
handed a piece of paper. Sorry for the inconvenience, sign this & we’ll
give you a $125 voucher for our airline. I don’t think so! Another 45 minutes
back to this hotel, then because they are waiting for us this time, only ½ an
hour to check in. It’s 30C and humid, the sweat is literally running down in
cascades from my pores. I’ve been wearing the same clothes for a while now, and
haven’t eaten in almost 24 hours. Is the dining room open? No, it’s closed, we
are too late for lunch (it’s now 3 p.m.), and we will have to wait until 6:30.
We manage to find a snack bar after dragging our exponentially heavier bags to
a room. We sneak in just under the wire as it closes 5 minutes after we get
there. Back to the room for a shower, donning the same sweat soaked clothes
that we’ve been wearing since about noon yesterday, and a cat nap. Sleep deprived,
(nothing but naps for the last day or so) we head to the lobby at about
8. At this time we are told that our flight is delayed yet again, and the
busses instead of picking us up at 9, are now picking us up at 10 p.m. It seems
that the aircraft dispatched from Toronto to come & get us (the one in Cuba
must really be screwed) also broke down. Another aircraft is sent, a different
bigger one. UH OH, I paid extra for emergency row seats, I don’t fit in normal
aircraft seats. 6’3” 237 lbs. No man, normal seats will not work! If this is a
different aircraft, will my seat assignment put me in the emergency row? I get
hold of the poor harried tour rep. who makes a phone call, gives me a name of
the tour rep. at the airport, and assures me there is no problem. At 10:00p.m., the busses arrive to get us. We travel yet
another 45 minutes to the airport, they’re waiting for us this time, I check
with our tour rep., yes no problem, I have confirmed emergency exit seats.
Check in is only 20 minutes or so, 10 minutes or so to clear security as we are
the only people in the airport. Into the lounge we go. Everything is closed
pretty well. Good thing I bought my duty free stuff the first time we were there!
We board the aircraft at about 1:00a.m., and I am directed to my seat,
strangely enough, NOT an emergency exit seat. No way man! I stand by the
emergency row seats & refuse to sit until I get one. The steward is very
nice & gets me the seats, trading with someone who was assigned them but
who didn’t pay extra for them. One problem solved. We land in Toronto at about 4:00 a.m., going through customs
the guy asks us what we have to declare. I think that they were called in JUST
for our flight! I say some rum, cigars, a cap, box of dominoes, and a jar of
honey. HONEY he says, marking my card with all kinds of red lines. Perfect. We
go to the luggage carousel, which spits out about a dozen bags, then
inexplicably stops for 20 minutes. ½ an hour later we finally get our bags. We
get stopped at the final customs check because of all the red marks on our
card, but they are tired too, so the guy who is asked to handle us says hen
doesn’t care & we are let through. A 24 hour shuttle gets us to the hotel
we had paid for the previous night at about 5 a.m. We had a reservation last
night but our flight was delayed. Sorry, we’re full. Of course you are. We
drive back to Stratford, the window open, I’m shaking my head trying to stay
awake. I’ve been up for about 22 hours or so and haven’t slept fully in ages.
At one point I have to stop & walk around for a while to wake up. I’m
seeing double at times and driving is a real concentration nightmare. We make
it back home at 7:00 a.m.. In bed until noon, then I have to get up so I’ll be
able to sleep that night & go to work. I have to drive Cal back to Kitchener in the afternoon.
Zombie like I make the trip. On the way home my exhaust system starts making
all kinds of noise. Perfect. I stop & make an appointment for the next day.
They call me at lunch the next day, $520. Nice. I go to pay for it & they
give me “good news”. It’s only $320. What a perfect end to a vacation. I need
another one to recover from the trip home! Filed under Adventures in the Caribbean, Feb 7, 2010
|
cobolhacker.com
flickr.com
Internet Movie Database
The Onion
The Sneeze
Trickle and Thrum
|